EuroEnglish

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Luke
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EuroEnglish

Post by Luke » Tue May 22, 2007 4:50 pm

The Congressional committee assigned to investigate the growing lingual problem in the United States has decided that instead of changing the United State's official language to Spanish, governmental programs will simply refine the current English to make it easier to learn and more useful than the current system. The following is a summary of these intended programs.

In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c". Sertainly, sivil servants will resieve this news with joy. Also, the hard "c" will be replased with "k". Not only with this klear up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replased by "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20 per sent shorter. In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will encourage the removal of double letters, which have always been a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent "e"'s in the languag is disgrasful, and they would go.
By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" by "z" and "w" by "v". During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords containing "ou", and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German lik zey vunted in ze forst plas.
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Lad
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RE: EuroEnglish

Post by Lad » Wed May 23, 2007 12:39 pm

lol! Love it. I thought German, just before it said it. Good ;)
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appleton
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RE: EuroEnglish

Post by appleton » Wed May 23, 2007 1:32 pm

Seen this somewhere before.

Still a good one :biggrin:
"Practical men who believe themselves to be quite exempt from any intellectual influence, are usually the slaves of some defunct economist. Madmen in authority, who hear voices in the air, are distilling their frenzy from some academic scribbler of a few years back" - John Maynard Keynes

johnruddock
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RE: EuroEnglish

Post by johnruddock » Sat Jun 09, 2007 11:40 am

[quote=matt]
Seen this somewhere before.

Still a good one :biggrin:
[/quote]

Vee av vays of maken sie talk Englander :cool0012:

anildewani
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RE: EuroEnglish

Post by anildewani » Sat Jan 31, 2009 9:50 am

hahaha..they just made it too hard.
anyhow good one..great humour !! :D

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